It’s actually already live.
And has been for approximately 2.5 days.
Yes. That funny little thing I’ve been slaving over for the past week and a half launched into the orbital interwebs on Wednesday.
My natural inclination was to make a big deal of it. I finished something huge that I’ve been wanting to do for AGES! Yipee! Pop open the champagne.
But in reality something different happened closer to the date I knew I was going to make the site live.
I started to get scared.
This thing that started off as a “let’s see if I still have it in me!” project turned into a “well I guess I could use this to showcase my work…” which finally morphed into “what if the website stinks and I have no real talent?”
I’m still in the last bit which is why I haven’t really revealed the actual full website. To anyone. Ever.
It’s because of the brilliant Jon Acuff’s “critics math”: 1 insult + 1,000 compliments = 1 insult.
I’ve received OUTRAGEOUS support from every single person I’ve talked to in the last two weeks. Encouragement and reassurance that going after your dreams is the right thing to do. That the website will be fabulous. That my life is going in a positive direction. 1,000,000 compliments.
So where’d that one insult come from that’s made critics math work? Myself.
Just like I have a flat to call home, I’ll now have a little soapbox on the internet to stand on. It all sounds so romantic in my head.
In reality, this is my life here. This is the website I’ve spent hours contemplating color schemes on. I’m <em>really</em> attached. And I don’t care who you are or how many times you say “I can take criticism. Bring it,” deep down <em>no one</em> wants to open themselves up for ridicule, especially on things they’re close to. Yes, we all have things to learn blah blah. I know my website can be better. I know it can be faster, smarter, better laid out…
But can I just enjoy my handiwork for 5 minutes before it’s picked apart?
If you’re an understanding human, I hope you wouldn’t deny me that.
Have a great holiday weekend!